The Best and Worst of Christmas Desserts, Ranked

By: Jenna Lam (Grade 11)

Dive into a journey of holiday spirit and fun with Jenna as she ranks popular Christmas desserts.

#5: Fruitcake

Let’s be honest, does anybody actually like fruitcake? The first and only time I ate fruitcake was three years ago, at a Christmas party. Looking diseased and radioactive, its very presence dimmed the holiday spirit within me. The recipe for fruitcake calls for dried fruits, nuts and spices: it sounds delicious. However, upon taking a bite of the devil’s loaf, it crumbled in my mouth and left an overly sweet aftertaste. Fruitcake labels itself as a cake, which is manipulative and misleading. It is disgusting and dense, and marks last place on this ranking. Sorry not sorry!

#4: Candy Canes

During the holiday season, I enjoy candy canes crumbled in peppermint bark. Despite this, I never see anyone just eat a candy cane. It’s mostly for aesthetic purposes: used in Christmas stockings, candy grams and lavish gingerbread houses. Taste-wise, it’s just peppermint-flavoured hard candy – no different from your grandma’s old dusty pillow mints. Plus, if you’ve ever ate a candy cane, the sharp end can also be a makeshift lethal weapon. They just aren’t safe!

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#3: Peppermint Bark

Perfect for gift-giving or binging on at home, peppermint bark is a tried-and-true classic Christmas dessert. While most versions contain crushed candy canes, dark and white chocolate, various other types exist. Peppermint Hershey’s Kisses, for example! Peppermint bark ranks third, however, due to its few ingredients: it’s pretty much just a boring chocolate bar jazzed up a little bit.

#2: Eggnog

Sweet and creamy with hints of nutmeg, eggnog is essential to keeping Christmas spirit alive. It’s more than just a drink: from cakes to cookies, eggnog is incorporated in many modern Christmas foods. Traditional recipes often include raw egg whites, so it’s your choice if you want to risk contracting salmonella. But, you can still get your nog fix by omitting the eggs!

#1: Yule Log

Tis’ the season for a beautiful creation of rolled yellow sponge cake and chocolate buttercream! Elaborate yule logs are often adorned with meringue mushrooms, marzipan holly twigs, and icing sugar dusted on top to represent snow. Not only does it look showstopping, but it tastes amazing too. Various versions can also substitute for chocolate cake or ganache. In fact, Purebread on West Broadway makes a delectable version of this cake with raspberry filling!