Usually held at a nearby eatery or right here on campus, alumni gatherings can be fraught with apprehensive anticipation coupled with genuine shared joy and connection. I marvel at the obvious changes in identity shaped by occupation and family. This person is a mother or father now, or that person is an engineer or librarian. What they’ve done and are doing is fascinating and impressive. Subtler and of equal interest are the changes or nonchanges of personhood and character. This person is showing a depth of maturity and heartfelt strength that either wasn’t there or was only a mere wisp as a teenager, and that person still remains steady and sure and on the path to the true north as they were many years ago. How lovely these revelations and confirmations are, and how lovely our school plays a small part of an individual’s growth and journey.
But what of in-house changes? Can a short five year span have curving trajectories and different landing spots? When one moves from grade 8 to grade 12, what, if any, movements occur in self and in identity? Or, for that matter, when one goes from kindergarten to grade 8, what happens?
“When I was younger, I thought grade 8 would be easier,” said Deryn. “It’s busy, but I like it. You have different friends and you branch out to a wider group of friends.” Ella said, “I thought it would be more fun, but in a different way.” Olivia added, “I never even thought about the future when I was young.” Alex said, “I like the clubs, and the new friends and people you meet.” It’s understandable those in primary only have hazy view of high school, but when the transition happens, stark differences bring not only new experiences but begin to push and prod a heart in directions unseen.
Deryn hopes to be swimming, playing volleyball and running and somehow managing sports when she hits grade 12. Niyah loves to sail and wants to continue throughout high school. “I also want to be more outgoing,” she said. Katherine too has high hopes. “I want to get on a national team for something, debate, math or science.” It’s apparent grade 12s have an influence. “Grade 12 looks a like a lot of fun. Like the dress up days,” said Inara. “It will probably be more stressful, but feels like way more freedom, more alive.” Adults would do well to harness this delightful optimism. To curry it, to nurture it, to water it and to let it loose.
When asked to reflect upon their grade 8 years, grade 12s, although still buoyant, felt their younger selves were a tad naive. “I was so emo,” said Grey. “I had hair up to my eyes and was too scared to get a haircut.” Hayden said, “I played a lot of Minecraft in grade 8, and I thought I’d get better grades or I’d be a millionaire.” Liam shook his head remembering his early days. “I was rambunctious and a trouble maker,” he said. “And I thought grade 12 was like the movies, wearing grad jackets, being more mature, and more put together. I thought I’d be scared.”
Parker said, “I wasn’t looking that far out.” Cole agreed. “I didn’t think about the future. I was very aloof,” he said, “Grade 12 seemed a lot older.” Ann felt she changed a lot over the years. If she could talk to her younger self, she would say, “You won’t have everything figured out. Know that it won’t be perfect.”
Hard truths and realities can intrude upon the grade 8 mindset as the years pile on. Maybe the ability to make that team or play in that show just isn’t there. Maybe the grades won’t happen in that subject regardless of how hard you study. Maybe you won’t get voted in for that group. Setbacks and disappointments and how we respond to them will be a continuous part of our development and form who we are and who we want to be.
But the spark of wonder, the kindle of crazy ideas, the idealism of youth, that’s something worth protecting and clasping onto. When I taught a grade 8 advisory, I would ask them to write letters to themselves on the first day of school, and when they were about to graduate, we’d open them up and have a fine laugh and chuckle. Oh, to be that young and innocent again, seemed to be the undercurrent message.
When weariness and jadedness bear heavily on us, it’s probably best to reach out to a childhood or, perhaps a grade 8, keepsake, and to rekindle that wide-eyed confidence and hope. Let’s not so easily set aside our younger selves for fear of embarrassment. Instead, let’s use it to give us a bit more energy, a bit more laughter, and a bit more peace. Here’s to all the grade 8s, good luck and all the best navigating this fun topsy-turvy high school ride. We’ll be beside you all the way.