Boston Celtics coach Joe Mazzulla was asked about how one of his players had to deal with unfair criticism. Mazzulla interrupted the interviewer. “Gets to deal with,” he said. “He gets to deal with it. It’s the ultimate compliment…. This is what you asked for.”
In our own way, we too have the privilege of dealing with criticism, of dealing with stress and pressure, and of dealing with work and demands. One may point out a professional basketball player’s pressures are a poor and untidy metaphor for a high school student’s day to day. “This is not what we asked for,” a student may say. “We have to be here, we didn’t choose to.” And that’s fair comment.
On one level, we do have many entitlements. Those in impoverished environments, war plagued places, or oppressive situations would gladly switch places to undergo our stresses and worries. On another level, every individual has personal circumstances or mental health issues that may stun or slow growth and development. Through no fault of their own, they are not adequately equipped to face certain burdens.
For those who can, for those in the right situation, I would call upon you to crave, to desire, to ask for the demanding, the difficult, and the formidable. And in doing so, you become a culture carrier. You become someone who carries an attitude and mentality of wanting to do hard things and wanting to stand in front of the storm. This isn’t about an end result. The marks, the university acceptance, the championship, the public adulation isn’t the measure of success. This isn’t about any one person’s accomplishments. This is about how we respond. This is about contributing and cultivating and spreading a community culture that shouts, “Challenge us. Push us. Make us think and work hard. When adversity comes, we will not shy away. We will learn from it, grow from it, emerge from it, and after, we will be stronger because of it.”
I see it at our school all the time. Stella goes to the ski and snowboard provincials, arrives back at 3am in the morning, and there she is in my first block class, ready to learn. Julian has a tumultuous start to the year, but he doesn’t give in. Even though he has to prepare for the school play, he works to overcome his giant pile of assignments and he’s in my room seemingly every morning just past 7 with a smile on his face, a snack in hand, and doing schoolwork. Ann is doing extra science experiments way beyond the school curriculum to discover and explore something new. All sorts of athletes put in hours and hours of practice that no one sees, play their games at night, and still study afterwards. Over 120 students show up at 7:15 to do a math contest. They’re doing freaking super hard math early in the morning because they want to.
These are culture carriers. By their example, by their attitude, by their work ethic, they are telling everyone this is who we are, and this is what we want our community to be like. They understand they get to deal with it, and they welcome it.
In her book The Serviceberry, Robin Wall Kimmerer talks about a gift economy. About how wealth is about sharing, not about consuming more, not about accumulating. She writes, “The currency in a gift economy is relationship, which is expressed as gratitude, as interdependence and the ongoing cycles of reciprocity. A gift economy nurtures the community bonds that enhance mutual well-being; the economic unit is “we” rather than “I,” as all flourishing is mutual.”
Culture carriers intuitively understand the focus is beyond ourselves. They understand hard times come and hard times go, but persistence and perseverance stay and carries to the next generation. They understand younger students are watching them, emulating them, trying to understand what motivates them. They want to pass their culture on. When we want to do the hard things even as some are unable to, our entire community is still lifted up. Our entire community grows more resilient, and our entire community flourishes.
The Canucks have these pithy mottos like “meet pressure with pressure” or “embrace the hard”. As trite and banal as they are, they speak a little truth. Want it, desire it, hunger for it, demand it, and see how you respond. Then you will know if you can become one. Are you ready to be a culture carrier?