Humour Politics

Suing God

By Henry Luo, ’24

In the summer of 1969, while other people were soaking up the sun and sipping on margaritas, Betty Penrose was going through her own tragedy. 

Penrose was a humble legal secretary from Phoenix, Arizona. Her home was struck by lightning by a passing summer storm, and her house was burned out of existence in the subsequent fire. 

“Who to blame?” thought poor Penrose.

Penrose cast her eyes to heaven and vowed that God would pay for this. Literally. 

Penrose had a sympathetic boss, Rusell Tansie, who was also a lawyer. He took it upon himself to file a lawsuit against the Almighty himself. The suit informed God that he was responsible for: “The maintenance and operation of the universe, including the weather in and upon the State of Arizona.”

By this charge, God was responsible for that bolt of lightning which struck Penrose’s house, totalling some $100,000 in damages. 
<img width="314" height="222" src="; alt="Tales from the Uni-Nursery</FONT>

Tansie knew his law well, deciding to file charges in Sonoma, California instead of native Phoenix. Why did he do that? Sonoma was home to a rather hippie commune where a man named Louis Gottlieb, out of divine inspiration, decided to gift his 30-acre ranch to God. So God was then, on May 6th, 1969 a registered “rightful owner” of the 30 acres of land in Sonoma, California.

Tansie realized that only those holding property can be easily sued, thus opting for a location where God did, himself, own a tract of property. 

And he was right. 

On court day, the judge sorely noted that the defendant, God, did not attend. Although no one in the room could definitively state, for the record, that the Omnipresent was not there, there was sufficient evidence to claim anyways. Even more unfortunately, none of God’s lawyers showed up to speak on his behalf. 

With God declared absent from the court, Tansie won the case by default and claimed $100,000 in damages. 

So, can you sue God today and claim a cash reward from the court? Well, not really. There are several requirements to sue someone, which include, but are not limited to, the person being under the jurisdiction of the court and being able to pay damages or face punishment. God does not fulfill any of those requirements. 

Even if you do find some grounds to bring God in and put him on trial, good luck claiming your reward. 

0 comments on “Suing God

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: