Old Faithful’s Obituary

By: Ethan Jasny (Grade 11)

Photo by: Deborah Jin (Grade 12)

Memories of our beloved water fountain

It is with profound sadness that we mourn the death of Old Faithful, the 200-level water fountain. In October, it was discovered that water from Old Faithful had exceeded the maximum acceptable concentration of lead and was thus closed. In the following obituary, we hope to detail and honour the life of a water fountain, who, though not very good at dispensing water (its primary and only job), was a beloved member of our WPGA community.

Old Faithful was born in 1995 during WPGA’s opening year. At a young age, he was the talk of the school: students and teachers alike flocked to see his proprietary water fountain technology. In adolescence, Old Faithful became volatile. He would frequently dispense water at uneven rates, splashing students in the face. As time passed, the school’s other water fountains were replaced by newer models, and state-of-the-art water bottle fillers were introduced in grad legacy gifts. Students learned to avoid Old Faithful and he soon came into disrepair. After a June 2019 Wolfington Post article was released calling Old Faithful a “terrible water fountain experience,” usage fell to an all-time low. 

Still, even though Old Faithful was not the best water fountain; even though every time you tried to use him your mouth would touch his spout; even though his button was impossible to hold down with one finger; even though his water pressure was so low that you could barely drink any water; Old Faithful was a mainstay in our community, who literally touched the lives of thousands of students.

Old Faithful lived his life to his fullest, and as he rises to water fountain heaven, we remember his legacy on Earth. Goodbye, Old Faithful. You will not be missed.



0 comments on “Old Faithful’s Obituary

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: